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PASTORAL PSYCHOLOGY
conversely, so that ideas are liberated in words and a point of
view is illumined as it rises to expression.
The value of advice is not to be measured by the number of
words required to communicate it. While a quiet, expectant
attitude on the part of the adviser is always appropriate, too
much silence is not good. It can give an impression of
indifference, and that is always injurious. The person seeking
advice must always have the impression that his problem is
being taken seriously by someone who really cares for him. Even
if he is troubled by what is, from the point of view of the spiritual
adviser, a simple or trivial matter that must be shown in its
right proportions, the consultation should be so conducted that
the enquirer is led to see this for himself and is helped to develop
.a clearer sense of proportion. Until he has done so, the very
preoccupation of the enquirer with a triviality presents a challenge
that has not been met.
Few things destroy the value of spiritual advice more than
officious talkativeness and ‘laying down the law’. It is a sign of
self-centredness in the spiritual adviser when his conversation is
less relevant to the worries of his confidant than to a private
train of thought or a pet theory he must take the opportunity to
expound. A person who comes for help will not be responsive to
a sermon or lecture.
It is not sufficient for a spiritual adviser to be a good listener.
He should be familiar with the art of asking questions, if only
because the enquiries he makes can more surely than anything
else convince the confidant of the adviser’s serious interest in his
problems. Every question should be well considered, clearly and
precisely formulated and, above all, asked quietly and
undramatically. Questions can help the diffident to state their
problems. They can prevent a discursive talker from wandering
from the point. They can often bring him to face problems and
situations he wants to avoid. They can provide the adviser with
the information he needs to form a just estimate of the
enquirer’s condition and personality. In short, they can be
invaluable; nevertheless, the ideal should be to ask no more
questions than are essential to illuminate the matter under
consideration.
Awkwardly placed questions can break all contact between
the adviser and the enquirer. Cross-examination should never
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