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Doc. 209.] HIS SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE IN 1744. 169
likewise when a person receives Christ at the communion in an
unworthy manner this causes him in the end to be in eternal
torments and constitutes hell ; for the Spirit visits upon man such
an unworthiness . From the state in which I was, I came still
deeper into the spirit, and although I was awake, I could not
control myself, but was seized with an irresistible impulse to
throw myself on my face, to raise my hands, and pray, as
before [see no. 27], about my unworthiness, and to ask with
the deepest humility and reverence for grace, that I, who am
the greatest of sinners, may receive forgiveness of sins. I
then noticed that I was in a similar state to that in which
I had been the night before ; but more I could not see, as I
was awake. I wondered at this, and it was then shown to
me in the spirit, that a man in that condition is like one
who has his head down and his feet up ; and it occurred
to me why Moses had to take off his shoes, when he was to
approach the Holy One ; and also why Christ washed the
apostles’ feet, and answered Peter that it is sufficient to wash
the feet.*-Afterwards I perceived in the spirit that what
proceeds from the centre itself which is Love, is the Holy
Spirit, which is represented by water ; for this was mentioned,
and also aqua (water) or unda (a wave). In short, if a person
is in such a state that he is not influenced by a love which
centres in himself, but by one which centres in the common
good, such as on earth or in the moral world represents love
in the spiritual world ; and if he is not in that love for the
sake of himself or of society, but for the sake of Christ, whose
love constitutes also the centre-if a person is in such a state,
then he is in a right state ; Christ is [then] the ultimate end,
and the rest are mediate ends leading directly towards the
ultimate end.§
53. Afterwards I fell asleep, and saw one of my acquaint
ances sitting at a table; he saluted me, but I did not notice
.
it at once, and before I returned his salutation he became
offended and addressed some harsh words to me. I tried
to excuse myself, and at last succeeded. I said, I am
* See Note 161, xii.
See Note 161 , vii.
See Note 165, iv.
§ Compare Note 166, iv.
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