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170 SWEDENBORG’S TRAVELS AND DIARIES. [Doc. 209.
habitually engaged in thought, so that I do not observe
when I am saluted, and sometimes pass my friends in the
streets without noticing them. I appealed to an acquaintance
who was present to bear witness to that, when he affirmed it ;
I added that no one was more desirous to be polite and
humble than I (and may God grant that this may ever be
so). This was on account of the previous night, when I in
dulged in thoughts different from what I ought to have done.
May our Lord, in His infinite grace, excuse me. My friend,
however, made no reply; whence it seemed that he was satis
fied, as I thought.
54. April 10X11 . I came into a low room where there
were many people; but I looked only at a woman who was in
black, but not ill-looking; she went far into a chamber, but I
would not follow, though with her hand she beckoned me to
wards the door. Afterwards I went out, when I found myself
several times stopped by a spectre which attached itself to
me, covering the whole of my back ; finally it disappeared . I
came out, when a hideous spectre approached me and did the
same ; it was an ugly old man ; at last I escaped from them.—
These were my thoughts on the previous day, when I, indeed,
looked upon myself as entirely unworthy, and thought that I
would never be able to continue in this state during the whole
of my life-time ; nevertheless I comforted myself with this
thought, that God is mighty in everything, and that His power
was doing this ; yet there was something in me, that prevented
my submitting myself to God’s grace as I ought to have done,
thus suffering Him to do with me according to His good
pleasure.
55. On stepping out, I saw many people sitting in a gallery,
when, lo, a stream of water* came rushing down through the
roof; it was so impetuous that it penetrated everything that
was in its way. Some tried to close the opening so that no
water might come in; others tried to escape that it might
not reach them ; others again dissipated the stream into drops,
while some directed it outside the gallery.-This, I believe,
meant that the power of the Holy Spirit* flowed into my body
* See Note 161 , vii.
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