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178 SWEDENBORG’S TRAVELS AND DIARIES. [ Doc. 200.
from them and my interior vision, I fell into temptation
thoughts. God be praised who gave me this weapon ! May God
graciously keep me in it, that I may have my crucified Saviour
constantly before my eyes. For I dared not look upon my
Jesus whom I have seen,* because I am an unworthy sinner ;
but I ought rather to fall upon my face, and it is Jesus who
then takes me up to Himself, that I may see Him. For this
reason I look upon the crucified Christ.
74. April 14X15. It seemed to me as if I were racing
down the stairs, lightly touching each step ; I came down
safely and without danger. A voice came from my dear father,
"You are frightening people thus, Emanuel !" He said it was
wrong, but he would let it pass.-The reason of this was,
that I had been too bold yesterday in the use of the cross
of Christ; but by God’s grace I came through without
danger.
75. I climbed up on a platform [
jay klengde mig på en
lafwe], and broke off the neck of a bottle ; some thick stuff
came out, covering the floor upon which it flowed down.
This, I believe, means that yesterday a good deal of evil was
rooted out of my thought. I sat down upon that which was
written, showing what I have still to do.
76. I heard a bear growling, but did not see it. I dared
not remain in the upper story of the house, because a dead
carcase was there which it might scent. I therefore came
down into the room of Dr. Moræus,166 and shut the windows.
This signifies temptation, it may be to greed and also to
something else ; likewise, that I am progressing in my ana
tomical speculations.§
77. Doctor Moræus seemed to court a pretty maiden, and
obtained her consent ; he had permission to take her where
he pleased. I jested with her, saying that she liked to say
Yes, and the like. She was a handsome maiden, and grew
* See no. 27. Probably his MS. for the printer.
The Swedish editor has Dr. Morsus, but he agrees with the editor
of these Documents, that the original which is very difficult to make out,
bears also the reading of Moraus ; the letter a being written á by
Swedenborg, thus bearing a similarity to the written character of s.
§ See Note 161, i.
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