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Doc. 209.] 195
HIS SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE IN 1744.
139. May 19X20, in London. On the twentieth I was to
go to the Lord’s Supper in the Swedish church, after I had
had many pernicious thoughts, from which I perceived that
my body is in a continual state of rebellion ; this was also
represented to me by scum, which was to be skimmed off. On
Sunday morning it came very clearly from the Spirit into my
lips, that this [i. e. the Holy Supper] is the manna* which
descends from heaven. This came to me neither in sleep nor
in a state of wakefulness, but it came most distinctly into
my thought and into my lips that by this is signified
Christ in the Lord’s Supper. * The day before I had been
prepared, so that I was interiorly tranquil and peaceful, being
contented with the Lord’s dispensation ; the whole time also
I felt the strong influence of the Holy Spirit, and the whole
body was filled with a delight in the heavenly kingdom upon
earth.†
140. I could not control myself so entirely as not to have
carnal desires ; yet without any intention of causing their
ultimation. Yet it seemed tome in my dream that my having
accompanied Prof. Ehlreich¹09 to sundry places was not so
altogether against the Divine Providence; as about it I did
not receive an admonition, as about other of my doings. It
however happened, as had been represented to me in a
dream some days before, that I was in one day twice in
danger of my life; so that if God had not protected me, I
should have lost my life in two places. The particulars I will
not describe.
141. The internal state of delight, however, continued so
strong in the mornings, evenings, and during the day, especially
when I was by myself alone, without company, that it may
be compared to heavenly joy on earth.* In this state I hope
to continue, so long as by our Lord’s grace alone I walk in
pure paths and have right intentions ; for as soon as I turn
aside, and try to find my joy in worldly things, this state of
delight ceases. God alone knows whether the principle of the
* See Note 161, x.
See Note 160, iii.
See Note 162, ii.
13*
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