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SWEDENBORG’S STATE IN 1744. 1085
govern my fugitive thoughts, so as to restrain some expressions
against my better understanding ; I was, by permission, under the
influence of the Evil One. The temptation was assuaged by prayer
and God’s Word; faith was there in its entirety, but confidence and
love seemed to be gone" (no. 19).
"I was in a temptation, where thoughts invaded me which I
could not control; nay, they poured in so powerfully, that all my
other thoughts were kept under, and full liberty was given them to
resist the power of the Spirit, which leads in a different direction ;
the infestation was, indeed, so strong that unless God’s grace had
been stronger, I must either have succumbed, or become mad.
During that time I could not direct my thoughts to the contempla
tion of Christ" (no. 34).
"This last temptation went to the innermost, and to resist it I
received a stronger evidence of the Spirit; for at times I broke out
into a perspiration" (no. 39).
"Whilst I was in the first struggle, I called on Jesus for help,
and it ceased. I also folded my hands under my head, and then it
did not come a second time. I was, nevertheless, in a tremor when
I awoke, and heard now and then a dull sound; but I do not know
whence" (no. 57).
"During the whole day I was in conflicting thought, which tried
to destroy that which was of the Spirit by abusive language.
found therefore that the temptation was very strong. By the grace
of the Spirit I was led to fix my thoughts on a piece of wood or
a tree, and then on the cross of Christ, and on the crucified Christ ;
whenever I did so the other thoughts fell down flat, as of their own
accord. I bore down this thought so strongly upon the other, that
it seemed to me I might crush the tempter with the cross, and drive
him away; when I was relieved for a time" (no. 73).
"Afterwards I dreamt how the Evil One led me into various deep
places, and bound me. I cannot remember it all. Being thus tied,
I was cast into hell" (no. 88).
"I was this day at intervals in a state of interior anxiety, and
at times in a state of despair ; still I was assured of the forgiveness
of sins. In consequence of this a cold sweat sometimes broke out up
on me until 10 o’clock, when with God’s help I fell asleep" (no. 91).
"This day I was in severest temptation, so that whenever I
thought of Jesus Christ immediately ungodly thoughts pressed in,
which I could not control as I wished. I beat myself. Yet I can
affirm, that I never was of better courage than to-day, and that I
was not in the least faint-hearted and pained as on previous days,
although the temptation was most severe," & c. (no. 104).
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