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162 SWEDENBORG’S TRAVELS AND DIARIES. [ Doc. 209.
I had removed from the table. This troubled me, and I tried
to send them back again; it seemed to me also as if I had
some plan for doing so.-This, I believe, signifies that in
temptation I paid my own (with God’s grace), and more than
I was obliged (God’s grace*) ; but that from this temptation I
have learned much in spiritual things, which are meant by
the vases of silvert I intended to send back to the clergy
man, and indeed that for the glory of God we ought to make
returns to the church at large in some form or other ; this,
it seems to me, will also perhaps be done.
33. Afterwards I was with a very large company at another
clergyman’s, where, it seemed to me, I had been before. Upon
alighting it seemed to me as if there were so many of us
that the clergyman would be over-run; I did not like his
being burdened by so great a number.-This means that at
improper times I had many unruly thoughts, which were beyond
my control ; these were also represented by roving Poles and
hussars who had appeared to me before ; they seemed, how
ever, to go away.‡
34. I was also in a temptation,§ where thoughts invaded
me which I could not control ; nay they poured in so power
fully, that all my other thoughts were kept under, and full
liberty was given them to resist the power of the Spirit,
which leads in a different direction ;** the infestation was, in
deed, so strong that unless God’s grace had been stronger, I
must either have succumbed or become mad. During that
time I could not direct my thoughts to the contemplation of
Christ, whom I had seen for that brief moment (see no. 27).
The action of the Spirit and its power affected me so, that I
almost lost my senses.-My visit to the second clergyman was
meant by all this. I can only compare this to a pair of scales,
in one of which is our own will and our sinful nature, and in
the other God’s power. These our Lord disposes in temp
tation, so that they are in a state of equilibrium ; as soon
* See Note 165, viii.
See Note 161, vi.
** See Note 165, iv.
See Note 161, xiii.
§ See Note 162, i E.
++ See Note 165, x.
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